“It is always tedious when someone says that if you don’t stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying than you already have something to cry about, so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.”
—A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Slippery Slope (Lemony Snicket)
|—||Theodore Isaac Rubin, Love Me, Love My Fool (via thelipsplitter)|
These are clocks that knit. Clocks that knit. They knit 24 hours a day for 365 days and every year you get a new scarf to mark the passing of time.
But seriously: Clocks that knit.
For me, love is like a basket full of circles.
When I meet someone, we exchange circles. I give them fragile ones at first. If they want to take care of my circles they keep them in their own circle basket, then give me some of their own to put in my basket.
As time goes on we exchange…
|—||Douglas Adams (via loosebowels)|
Within her emotions collided. Her fear clashed with her ambition, with her will to live, with her dreams and goals. Her depression crashed into her joy, into her hope. And now she is scared. What if her fear wins? “What will become of me then? My God, what will become of me then?” But nothing has…
She still smiles when she listens to music, that’s how she knows she is still alive inside. That’s how she knows deep down her soul is still the way it used to be. That’s how she knows she still has a chance at life. Sometimes she wonders if she wants to have a chance. Maybe it would be easier if…
Thinking is her thing. She is always safely locked away in her mind, figuring things out, making up stories, coming up with solutions for difficult problems. She is always trying to figure out the world. Her brain was her territory, it was the only place she felt secure, at home. The world around…
You want to say “Hi” to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.
If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”
On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.
The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.
There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?
Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.
This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.
So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.
For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.
|—||an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via cuntlovin)|
sometimes i just want to get a fake orange spray tan and bleach my hair blonde and wear hollister and a&f and american eagle and uggs exclusively and wear frosted lipglosses and make ducklips faces and care about jersey shore and gossip girl. because apparently “nice” dudes hate when girls that…